I recall how a good friend of mine who lives in a neighboring suburb town once said, “Not all children are equally lovable. Some of them are easy to love, while others are hard to love.” How true it is, regardless of the notion that people are born as clean slates (tabula rasa). Some elements of ourselves are pre-determined, obviously. It may have something to do with the various levels of each intelligence we possess that creates the overall blue print of ourselves, our characters, attributes, and personalities.
According to Howard Gardner, there are at least eleven types of intelligence:
- Linguistic intelligence
- Logical-mathematical intelligence
- Spatial intelligence
- Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence
- Musical intelligence
- Naturalistic intelligence
- Interpersonal intelligence
- Intrapersonal intelligence
- Spiritual intelligence
- Existential intelligence
- Moral intelligence
Like the other types of intelligence, social intelligence is partly influenced by our pre-determined elements. It is, of course, improvable to some degree. How it flourishes and affects the overall personality, however, cannot be predicted beforehand, simply because people have a multitude of other intertwined intelligences that are likely to influence each other.
Albrecht did, however, describe the five distinct dimensions of social intelligence.
- Situational awareness. It is some sort of “social radar,” which manifests in how well you sense, read, and interpret situations and people’s reactions to situations.
- Presence. It is the whole package of physical and non-physical attributes that make others trust you, including voice, appearance, movements, and other patterns.
- Authenticity. This one is based on others’ “social radar,” which translate our attributes and behaviors as positive and trustworthy. Authenticity is an important element that would create loyalty from others.
- Clarity. How we convey ideas and inspire must be done with clarity, which eventually provides a clear direction on what we want others to do with or for us.
- Empathy. It is primarily a shared feeling between two people, which creates a level ground for positive interaction and, eventually, cooperation.
These elements of social intelligence may sound like the so-called “emotional intelligence.” They might, but the latter is about self-awareness and self-management. It is more about getting in tune with our heart, rather than about how others perception that will or will not result in cooperations with others.
A good case is the late American president Ronald Reagan. He was a classic example of a person with very high social intelligence but with average or below average emotional intelligence. He was accepted, praised, and remembered by general public as “The Great Communicator.” He has the candor, the look, the right tone of voice, the confident towering stature, and the commendable negotiation skill that has ended the Cold War era. He even made good friends with Mikhail Gorbachev, his former foe. His smiling images in which he held hands with his love of his life
Whatever he did, he did them effortlessly with the whole world watching with astonished eyes. Yet, at home, he was known as a distant father who did not know how to praise his children properly, which explained why Patti, his daughter, decided not to use his last name any longer. It also explained why his gay son Ronald Reagan, jr. felt so left out by his own father.
Now can we improve our social intelligence, or is it merely a privilege in special people? Sure, there is no doubt that we can improve it over time. The key is to align all other intelligences to create a sharp arrow with social intelligence as the pointed tip. Social intelligence is how well we portray ourselves to the world and how to make them fall in love with us and our works. It is one person (you) in front of millions, unlike emotional intelligence that is one (you) in front of one and a few (loved ones and friends).
( From Jennie S. Bev's writings on asiablogging.com)
